Holla Peeps! You know that sometimes your girl takes a brief hiatus! Yeah, I came back last Monday and Tuesday, but, I felt like I was holding back, and I NEVER hold back haha..
MY MOM! What did she do?
Well,let me just dump it out there..You guys know that she has made my life a living hell since I left home. I don’t know anymore if it’s the gay thing. She seriously hates me for leaving her. I mean, she still brings it up today, how, when I left home, she didn’t know if she would survive. Now, this breaks my heart, because leaving home was THE HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life. Besides leaving for college. Oh she made a scene out of that too! OMG! haha
Anyway.. Everyone knows that my Daddy got married to Miss Cora waaaaayyy back during the Korean war. He was stationed in the Philippines with Baby’s Daddy actually! Anyway, my Daddy brought Miss Cora back to the States and married her. Thus my big brother Jute. Before Jute, there was Butch..Then, waaayyyy down the line, there was me..Okay..I ALWAYS new by brothers. My Dad made sure we all knew each other and were in each others lives the whole ride. My brothers are awesome! We love each other so much. Okay..So, anyway..my mom claimed that she had NEVER been to my Dad’s house. That she never had been inside the house, didn’t know what it looked like..nothing about it..Well, on one of my visits to see my Dad. I was hanging out with him. And, on the television were many many pictures, so Daddy could see the whole family. My College graduation picture was missing. I sat there for a minute..This was right before I met Baby. I was still that Delaware girl with no life’s experience. Extremely sensitive. hurt….So, I gently asked Miss Cora..”Miss Cora, where is my Graduation Picture? I don’t see it?” She sat down, didn’t even look at me, and sharply said..”I don’t know, ask your mom.” Just like that. It took me back to High School when she would show me Bible verses saying I would go to hell because I was the child of the “ADULTRESS”.. smh..I was 15! My parents had just broken up. They were together 30 years. It was never a secret. My Dad and I are/were alike. Up front. Honest. He gave her a choice. She chose stability. I mean, they were only 17 and 15 when they met. I know my Dad’s only concern was to get her out of that hell hole. God love him. He couldn’t hurt anyone. Although he made sure to tell me..LOL Butch’s mom was never his girlfriend lol..she was kinda mean ahaaa.. Miss Pauline..God love you girlfriend..What a pistol! <3
Anyway.pan forward to what? A couple of months ago? Sounds about right. Well, Peeps..We were on the phone..Having a great conversation..Then, she does what she always does..Says something to fuck your girl up! I’m used to it, but this? Was too much. She said to me..”That’s why every chance I got, I messed with her.” This was pertaining to Miss Cora..So, I said “Huh?” and I don’t say “huh” when I talk to my mom! That’s not propper! She don’t like slang lol..So, she repeated it.. “That’s why every chance I got, I messed with her.”…I think I was talking to her about how confusing it was back then for me. See, Miss Cora came to see me in the play The Music Man when I was a kid. She also came to my college graduation. Put me in an awkward position both times. I didn’t know what to do!
Here’s the thing though. When Miss Cora said that. Of course, I defended my mom!! I was like..”My mom’s never even been in this house”…smh…
When I left Delaware, I believed my Dad was kool. That there was no drama I mean, it ripped my heart out enough that I was leaving him after that stroke. He was in a chair Peeps! The thought of my mom going in that house and taking my picture away from him?? The one thing I knew he had of me each day? I had never been so far away from my Daddy in my life! So there I went.. I had to relive my life..the lies..the manipulation..different memories..The life lines my Dad left me…It was a lot..adding up to the way my mother treats me now. Why I have NO CHOICE at all but to distance her from my life..Talk about processing!
So, now..I’m sure there’s more “stuff”..but trust me..specifics would take PAGES! ha 😉
SOOOOOO!!! Hopefully the weather in NYC is better!! I don’t know what the hell is going on! Blogtalk was still experiencing Host log in server issues. HOLLAAAAA!! Sooo happy to be at Blogtalk! We’re live in Vegas! We Broadcast out of New York City!! 🙂
Oh and that just pisses my mom off more! hhaaaa she’s so mad..in the early years, when she would say to me “I have to live here (Delaware)..the LAST thing she wanted was for all of Delaware to know she had a gay/bi daughter hhhaaaa…stash me in no closet! Fuck that! Worldwide baby! *sticks out tongue*